Sometimes I watch how people give their opinions about others with pure astonishment and deep disappointment. I watch the majority of people while feeding frenzily like a school of piranha fish on other peoples’ mere existence. Without thinking twice or even knowing the truth behind what they see, people just open their fire and ruthlessly criticize and judge others. This could sound like a given or like a line from a sermon, but being judgmental with or without knowing the reasons behind what we see from other people is absolutely beyond us as human beings. However, knowing this, lots of people still give themselves the right to judge others! It kinda takes me back to school days, when I used to be verbally bullied by others, and those are not pleasant memories at ALL.
Everyday I believe more and more that life is just a bigger version of school, and that maturity is just another thing that people pass by, without actually gaining the essence of it. And by maturity I mean the mental development that makes people aware of their actions and the results of their deeds. People still make a big deal out of the little things that matter the least or the things that wouldn’t really matter at all! They still have no problem with being totally inconsiderate and heedless of other people’s feelings or even turning someone’s life into a living hell for the sake of a laugh. It is really pathetic when people judge others just to feel ok about their own lame lives.
To prove my point let me share an incident with you. I used to work in an international company where foreigners work alongside Egyptians. One day a new foreign employee joined one of the teams. This foreign employee happened to be a female. What’s really disappointing is that almost everybody wanted her to leave ever since she came! Before you wonder why, let me just put it this way; she was not blond, she was dark skinned, a bit overweight and didn’t have silky straight hair. I had no idea how could this matter in a work environment, and I never thought that the well educated and cultured people can deal with appearances with such superficiality. Since her first day in the company they made fun of her and snuck comments about her behind her back. They quickly judged her based on her looks ONLY, and nothing else. Not her performance and not her personality. I do not mean all guys when I say this, but apparently as a foreign girl she failed to satisfy the guys’ superficial belief in the pretty foreign blond girl who’d be the object they all wanna hook up with!
Making fun of somebody’s life WON’T make yours any better!
Judging is not just the things we say about others or what others say about us. It is a bit more than that. And because I think almost everybody does it, I suppose we really need to dig it in order to be able to weigh and measure its impact on ourselves and on others. I found out that it includes some tricks that are almost unfelt if you overlook them. I’ll try to point out some of the things I believe would cause serious consequences but people would probably unconsciously ignore.
Judging yourself based on comparisons to other people
For example, some people would walk into a crowd feeling so good about themselves and how they look, until they see another person who might look better than they do. That’s when their bubble pops and everything turns upside down. I’ve seen beautiful girls who in my point of view shouldn’t even bother wearing make up, acting very strange and insecure about their looks that they squeeze their brains thinking of every single little detail and of what others would think of them or of how they look. Then suddenly and automatically their whole attention shifts to the negative side instead of acknowledging that they’d still look nice even in the presence of a more beautiful person.
Constructive Judgment
Comparing ourselves to others if ever necessary shouldn’t be that devastating, I consider it healthy for a person that would like to develop and foster. However, people need to know that such comparisons shouldn’t control what we think of ourselves. It could be so harsh and extremely unrealistic, because nobody can possibly be the best at anything. There will always be someone who would beat us at the thing we think we do very well. But I can’t see why would anybody let this get out of hand and turn it into a self confidence killer. I really believe that what really matters is that we keep doing our best and never stop trying to be better, because if we keep judging ourselves in such manner, one day we’ll end up actual losers.
“We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Letting people’s Judgments scare us
It is a fact and a normal thing that we constantly look for acceptance from others. But sometimes we gain some unpleasant responses. I’ve seen people acting away from their own reality just to blend in with a group of people who might or might not be snobs. Some went so far with it that they even stopped talking about their dreams in front of anyone. All in fear of facing any destructive criticism or being looked down at. As time goes by they start taking this feedback for granted and think of it as real. However, whether the intentions of other people are good or not we should not let them judge what we can become, because they can never see our dreams of what we can become like we do.
Unconsciously Judging
Normally we may have issues with a certain person which could be really annoying. But it really doesn’t give us the right to judge this person. For instance my boss may have yelled at me for some reason. Talking about it with others or explaining why he was wrong to yell at me is fine. But if I get caught up in the moment and call him a mentally retarded pig who lacks reason I’d be making a mistake and I really need to grow up. The same thing goes with judging celebrities as if we really believe they are just images moving on a screen and not human beings made of flesh and blood! NO. Even this thought doesn’t make it ok for us to go on judging them or call them names as some people do. Would it be better if we got to hear the heart breaking story behind what we see or hear about them? Even if there isn’t one, what could possibly be the difference this would make to us?!
“You can waste a long time judging a sinner instead of preventing yourself from becoming one.”
Judge No More!
Seriously! It is considered a sin in every religion I’ve ever heard of. Everybody knows very well that NOBODY is perfect and that we are NOT Gods. Yet we need to descend from the imaginary towers in our heads and get real. We need to STOP biting others because we will be bitten in return. It is a very well known saying that what goes around comes back around. So, isn’t it time for us to start picking what we’d like to get back in return?! Please AVOID stereotyping and NEVER underestimate anyone. And always REMEMBER, people are layers!
“You do not define anyone with your judgment. You only define yourself as someone who needs to judge.” Wayne Dyer
September - 2010
Euphoria Magazine
