Sometimes deep inside us we feel that we are not getting what we truly deserve or that there is more to us, yet nobody knows anything about it। It occurs to me that most of the people I know are denyingly living in the shadows of other people in various ways. Some have obsessions living up to peoples’ expectations may be even abide by their rules, while others would kill just to look or live like someone else. Mostly, people lack the belief in changing into themselves. They’d rather live their entire lives following the lights instead of shining themselves.
"There are times in everyone's life where we do need to get out and expand and do all those things that make us the best version of ourselves!" - Meg Ryan
Why Not? Why shouldn't one try to be like somebody else??… Because to become this person is not only to become what we see about them from outside, because this person is when and where they were born, who their parents were and how, their surroundings since their day one in this world, its their good and bad times, their first and last time to cry or to laugh and why। I can go on forever trying to list those things but its endless.
On the other hand, if we take a thorough look into the insides of those people, we will definitely find out that they will never become us! This leads us to the thought that we are all different and special in many ways, our own ways। It makes me go back to wondering again, why would anybody give that away and decide to become somebody else?! Probably some down times can make us think of other people as luckier or happier than we are, but realistically talking, who doesn’t go through bad times?!!
We wake up one day to find out that the person we are supposed to be, never really existed. We discover that we have wasted a long time trying to become someone else, knowing nothing about how special the person we are might be, to finally see why isn’t it working for us the way it does for that other person। However, this shouldn’t be devastating because at least we have reached the point of realizing why we or other people don’t see how special we are, and that needs a bit of optimism and open mindedness in my opinion.
There are some healthy assumptions we can make at this point. Like may be we think of ourselves as “not special” because nobody ever cared enough to tell us so, or we may even be underestimated by the people around us, who could be either too busy being self centered or too busy working so hard to destruct any actually different person. But the worst is when it is our fault against our own selves, when we are the first to give up on whom or what we are by dreaming and aiming so hard at becoming someone else!
What is “Special” Anyway? I think we need to stop thinking of the word “special” as a hard to earn title. In fact we need to know that those special people are nothing but human beings just like everybody else. We need to ask the right question, which is how did they become special or how can anyone become special. I’d say being special differs from one person to another; a person for example could be special for having effective communication skills, another could be considered special may be because they always just be themselves, by living there dreams, by helping others, what really matters is that they believe in who they are and what they dream.
We need to invest enough time working on knowing ourselves to know what we want, instead of seeking what everybody seeks or has, without actually knowing whether it’s what “we” really want. We need to be brave enough to dive so deep beneath the surface of our being, embrace the changes we need, never compare ourselves to others, and in the process we need to accept our human flaws. As complicated and hard as it may be, whatever it takes we should bare in our minds that we owe it to ourselves to reveal the special person inside everyone of us, whatever the thing one needs to change is, stopping a bad habit, starting or ending a relationship, getting a job or quitting one, or even some extra pounds to lose, we need to take control and never let our fears of the new or the unknown stop us.
“It doesn’t change you; it just makes you more of who you are" - Barbara Streisand
And when we decide to listen to that little voice inside each one of us, it would really help if we stop responding to the noises outside। The effect of other peoples’ remarks on who or how we are or what we dream of, could be very distracting if not totally negative and frustrating sometimes. Change is the never ending quest. However, sometimes it could be taken for granted as a constant thing. It certainly needs to be stirred; it doesn’t work on its own, and it is an endless process. We shouldn’t aim at a final result because there will never be one। Settling down to the good feeling we get after a change, is to give up on the other things that still need to change. It could happen when we face a difficulty down the road, but nobody said its an easy one.
Accepting this fact will help us avoid taking any shortcuts that might provide a momentarily satisfaction, which can be a disappointment in the future.
Accepting this fact will help us avoid taking any shortcuts that might provide a momentarily satisfaction, which can be a disappointment in the future.
“If at any point in our lives we took the easy way out, we’ll be just creating a bigger obstacle that will pop in our face eventually.”
People get stuck in their miseries because they are unable to dream of a better day, they don’t see the possibilities, they don’t believe in many things, most of all the power of belief and how it can help us change. Visualizing the difference, call it day dreaming or whatever, is like peeking through the window of the future, to get a clue of how good it would feel when the change we plan for actually takes place and translates our dreams into real tangible things. I believe this can turn the world into a heaven of opportunities and make us feel good enough to take a step forward.
Blinded by the present, the next special person could be right beside us but we are just too blind to see, too blind that this person might even be ourselves!
“Then why become somebody else while you can become the best version of YOU!”
Marwa Saudi
Euphoria Magazine(March 2010)
